My Feelings Do Not My Identity Make
I have often described our self-identity as being represented by a bucket - similar to the children’s book came out called Fill A Bucket.
When we have a healthy sense of self-identity our bucket will be full and overflowing.
WHY FANTASIZE WHEN WE CAN IMAGINE? Fantasy is the easy way out.
We live in an instant society - instant oatmeal, instant pictures, instant communication, etc. We like it when everything is at our fingertips and that we can access any piece of information whenever we want. All we have to do is Google it. I do like all the conveniences of a lot of these things (except the instant oatmeal
IMAGINATION on the other hand... has the following aspects:
THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN IMAGINATION AND FANTASY
The dictionary defines fantasy as imagination that is extravagant and unrestrained, a mental image that is unreal and fantastic.
IMAGINATION = ADVENTURE
Have you ever imagined what it would be like not to have an imagination? For
me, life would be very dull.
"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."
Have you ever looked in a mirror and saw someone totally different looking back at you?
I haven't either. :-)
Wouldn't it be nice to see what isn't there sometimes especially on the days when what you see looking back at you looks tired, cranky and out of sorts - like something the cat dragged in.
I used to see a frown looking back at me and I decided that I did not need to see that, so I started winking at myself and that just made me smile which helped to brighten my day!
What really brightens my day is when I realize that the Creator of this universe says that:
- I am so valuable to him that he died for me
- He died for me while I was still 'frowning' at the world and especially at myself
- nothing can ever separate me from his love
- he says that he is the same yesterday, today and forever
- which tells me that he must love me exactly as much when I am being really, really bad as
when I am being really, really good
- which means that no matter how good I am, I can never earn his love
- he could hardly wait for me to be born as he watched me being formed in my mother's womb
- he thinks as many good thoughts of me as there are sand on the beach and as there are
stars in the sky; not in a lifetime, but in one day!
It has been extremely difficult for me to accept such love that is so freely given. I know I do not deserve that and yet he just continues to give it anyway.
What I did is asked God to reveal what kind of love he has for me and how much. He bowled me over with the sliver of his love he showed me and it just keeps going. There is no end in sight.
I wonder what he would show you if you asked him the same question? I dare you!
Life = relationships
How we have learned to relate to others will determine how healthy we are emotionally.
As we strive to understand our past we realize from the size of the burden we bear that our hearts are bruised, wounded and even broken.
My commission is to bind up the broken hearts and to show the way to healing.
We often find ourselves immobilized by emotional and mental chains that go way back into our past. These chains often seem overpowering and leave us feeling hopeless and powerless.
My commission is to tell you how you can break those chains one by one and experience the liberty that comes from being free of the weight of those chains.
We can and often do find ourselves imprisoned by emotional scars and by fears – fear of failure if we have tried to do something that we are not familiar with; fear of what will other people say or think about us and therefore we do not do a lot of the things we really want to do; fear of 'what if...' things don't turn out the way we want them to; fear of being found out because we have done something that is wrong; fear of not doing things perfectly. The list goes on.
Fear keeps us imprisoned. We still function in life reasonably well, but everything we do is motivated by fear and it keeps us locked in the cell of fear.
My commission is to tell you about the way to freedom and how to experience the spaciousness of life outside the walls of the cell called 'fear'.
It is up to you whether you will take the way of healing, liberty, and freedom that is being offered or not.
At R 'N R Counseling we believe in the importance of understanding where we come from and to gain a clear picture of where we have been. We are not who we are just a result of the past few days, weeks, months or even years. We are an accumulation of all our years that we have lived on earth. So, when we experience problems in our present experience, there is very likely a connection to our past somewhere. Often the help of a trusted friend, mentor or a counselor is needed to help us see that connection. We get too wrapped up in our own emotional baggage that we cannot see past our emotional experience and see what the root of the problem is.
It is as we clean up our past negative experiences that we then become empowered to change our present experiences.
We cannot solve a problem until we see what the problem is.
When we have problems in the present, the origin of the problem is somewhere in the near or far past. That is why it is important to understand our past, in order to change the present so we can experience a better future.
Once we understand our past, we are empowered to change our present.
If you are finding yourself in a less than desirable relationship in the present it indicates that the root of this problem is in the past somewhere. Often this is due to having dysfunctional relationships in the past.
More often than not these dysfunctional relationships are learned within the family. So an examination of family relationship and all other relationships need to be understood because these relational patterns repeat.
Understanding how relationships work means that we must find out where the problem originates and once you see the origin, then you have a choice to make:
- Are you going to keep living with this problem
- Are you going to take steps to correct the problem
Remember, we cannot solve a problem until we know what the problem is, so to dig into the past and discovering the root of problems will empower us to make the choice and if we choose to take steps to correct the problem, our future will be better.
Once we take steps to change our present we are looking at a better future.